the dichotomous reality

one topic i have been pulled into talking with my friends about is the nature of reality. most of the people i talk to believe reality as being the world inside one's head, thus reality is subjective to the observer of that reality. although i can accept this subjective reality as being "truth," there is always the parts of this subjective reality that overlap in several individuals' realities. so for the purpose of categorizing these overlaps, is there another form of reality that can be considered the "objective" reality? if so, how many subjective minds have to perceive something in order for it to become "objective?"

i bring this up because i came across an interesting fact earlier today. the Japanese have two words for "reality" (though it isn't exactly in the context as i have put it in the past paragraph): 'tatemae' and 'honne'. 'tatemae' is defined as the "official, public, socially required reality" or the reality as outsiders see it, reality on the surface. 'honne,' however, is the "informal, personal reality in disregard of social parameters," the reality under the surface, the reality of things with in-depth knowledge of all circumstances and factors. (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A571565)
the Japanese see no problem in calling both of these things "reality," and see them as existing hand in hand with each other. personally, i guess i am more attuned to look for absolutes, so i consider them to be mutually exclusive, and i consider 'honne' to be the more "true" reality.
if 'honne' is indeed the true reality, then do i need to rethink my position on subjective reality itself? does it matter what is observed and taken in by the subjective observer, if the more "honest" reality is the objective reality? what do you think of the Japanese notion of having two 'realities' that exist simultaneously, and possibly even in opposition to each other at times?

poster: BAB